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Sensei Chin Chin Saves the World UNIVERSE!!!

Author's Note: This is the sequel to Sensei Chin Chin Get Attacked. It is going to be the last story about Sensei Chin Chin. OR WILL IT????

Sensei Chin Chin walked back into the dojo. He located Señor Sensei, and handed him the Elder Staff. It was the biggest mistake Sensei Chin Chin had ever made. Señor Sensei grinned, and looked at the Elder Staff lovingly. Then his expression vanished.

"Dispose of him," he commanded a ninja, and walked away.

The ninja got out a katana. Sensei Chin Chin lunged at him, and grabbed the hand that held the sword. The ninja made a futile attempt to swing down the deadly blade, but Chin Chin's grip kept it from doing so. Sensei Chin Chin grabbed the same arm with his other hand, and twisted. The ninja yelled, and dropped the katana. Chin Chin kicked it to the side.

Now that his opponent was unarmed, Sensei Chin Chin could finish the job easily. He did his crazy awesome, totally radical, secret ninja moves of death, and the ninja was out of the way. He ran through the door that Señor Sensei had ran through. It led down a long and narrow corridor. At the end, was a small bamboo door, locked. Chin Chin did a extreme ninja kick of awesomeness to the door, and it fell away.

When Chin Chin went in, he saw Señor Sensei sitting on a pillow in the middle of the room, playing the Elder Staff like a flute. The song hypnotized Chin Chin, and he just stood there, staring off blankly. Then, the song ended with a long note. A tiny portal formed in the center of the room, and then began to grow. It was finally the size of about a man when the long note ended. Señor Sensei stood up, and stepped to the far wall. He opened a door, which led to a tunnel.

Then ninjas started coming out of the portal. No, not coming, pouring. Ninja after ninja marched out of the portal, and headed into the tunnel.

"What is going on?" yelled Sensei Chin Chin.

Señor Sensei looked at him. "Oh, you're here. I doubted that ninja would stop you. But, you are too late. The Elder Staff has the power of summoning an army of two million ninjas. I have built a massive tunnel system, leading all around the world, because I knew someday, the Elder Staff would be mine. And now it is, you brought it to me. I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!" he said.

"Not so fast," said Chin Chin coolly. "I have a little trick up my sleeve. I have been working on this bad boy for years, and now is the time to use it," he pulled out a miniature nuke from his sleeve. "See, it was literally up my sleeve! Get it?"

"Yes, I get it, but…" started Señor Sensei, but he couldn't finish. Because Chin Chin pulled the pin.

He tossed the nuke into the tunnel, and ran. Señor Sensei chased. He chased Chin Chin up the stairs, up to the fourth story of the building. As Señor Sensei stepped onto the roof, the whole dojo blew sky high. The two men were sent flying, along with the roof, sideways. They flailed at the air as they were propelled towards the roof of a third story building close by.

They crashed onto the roof, first Chin Chin, then Señor Sensei closely after. They hit the concrete, and rolled. Wooden shards from the dojo's roof rained down around them. As they tumbled through the barrage of wooded shrapnel, Chin Chin was struck through the arm. The last of the roof carnage fell, and the two men got up.

Unknown to both, the tunnel system had caved in, crushing all the ninjas. The portal had also been ripped apart by the blast. But now, the two sensei's faced each other, Señor Sensei with the Elder Staff in his hand. Señor Sensei had been like a father to Chin Chin. He had raised him since he was left on the dojo doorstep as an infant. Now, they prepared for an epic facedown.

Chin Chin ran at Señor Sensei. Señor Sensei stuck out the Elder staff horizontally, to shield himself from Chin Chin's attack. Chin Chin grabbed the Elder Staff, and pulled it up. He struck it down over Señor Sensei's head and broke it in half. Partially stunned, Señor Sensei was kicked by Chin Chin in the stomach, sending him off the roof. He landed on a car in the parking lot below, and the hood caved and the windshield shattered.

With one half of the Elder Staff in his hand, the other in the hand of Señor Sensei, Chin Chin jumped of the roof. He faced the jagged edge outward, and neared his target. Señor Sensei did the same. They collided, and plunged sharp end of the Staff into each other's chests. They both slumped, and the car lit on fire. Neither survived.

And so ends the tale of the great man, Sensei Chin Chin. He stopped the army of ninjas, and brought down the unknown evil of Señor Sensei, the man who had himself raised Sensei Chin Chin. Chin Chin was a hero.

Sensei Chin Chin Gets Attacked

Author's Note: This is the sequel to Sensei Chin Chin's Quest, which is a partial sequel to the Ninjas!!! series. Again all characters are fictional and yeah blah blah blah.

Sensei Chin Chin was walking back to the dojo from the cheese factory. He passed a store that's name was in Chinese. He walked passed it, and then passed the space between that store and the next store (who's name was also in Chinese). Chin Chin was just walking and minding his own business, when all of a sudden, a hundred ninjas jumped out from the alley.

They ran up to Chin Chin and surrounded him.

"What are you guys doing?" yelled Sensei Chin Chin.

"We are the army of the Mark Ninjas. We're here to mug you," said one of them.

"Well, you picked the wrong guy," said Sensei Chin Chin.

He round house kicked the one that had talked. He flew into the one behind him. The rest of them stood dumbfounded for a few seconds.

"ATTACK!" yelled one from the back.

They circle surged inward toward Sensei Chin Chin. He punched the nearest one in the jaw. He turned to his left, and grabbed one by the shoulders. He pushed off, and flipped up over his head. The ninja fell over. Chin Chin finished the flip onto another one's head. He pushed off collapsed the ninja, at the same time as launching himself outside of the circle.

He turned around, and the wave of ninjas surged towards him. He lashed out, and caught one in the face. All the ninjas stopped.

"Ouch!" he said.

"Sorry," said Chin Chin.

"FINISH HIM!!!!" yelled the one who got nailed in the face.

A war cry arose from the group, and they all jumped on top of Chin Chin. He layed on his back as blows rained down from the Mark Ninjas. Then, he kicked upwards, and followed with two simultaneous punches. He rose up through the thick mass of Mark Ninjas. He pile drived one of them, then picked him up. He swung him around in a circle, smashing five more ninjas to the ground.

Chin Chin karate chopped the ninja standing next to him in half.

"Oops," said Chin Chin. "That's gotta hurt. Well, nothing some super glue can't fix."

Two ninjas ran at him, and he ducked. They collided, and collapsed on top of Chin Chin, who picked them up, one with each hand. He threw them at two more Mark Ninjas. Then, a funny feeling came over Chin Chin. He started getting all twitchy. Then, he screamed a blood curdling cry, and went on a Chin Chin Rampage. These are rare experiences for Chin Chin, and it had only happened once before, and he didn't remember. He was only one year old, when he went on a Chin Chin Rampage. He destroyed a whole army of ten ninjas. It was pretty epic.

So, with his Chin Chin rampage, he started mowing down the remaining 73 ninjas. He punched them in the face, kicked them in the stomach, karate chopped some head, and voila! The army of Mark Ninjas was vanquished, all by a single man. Chin Chin had taken down one hundred ninjas, Mark Ninjas at that.


So, he walked away from the Mark Ninja carnage, and dusted of his hands. He started back towards the dojo, to give Señor Sensei the Elder Staff. But little did he know the power it held, and Chin Chin would soon regret his decision to ever have gone back to the dojo… BUM BUM BUUUUUMMMMMM

Sensei Chin Chin's Quest

Author's Note: This is a kind of the sequel to all the other 'Ninjas!!!' stories, but this is different because it's a new series all about Sensei Chin Chin. This isn't a satire, just so you know, and all relationships between real people and fictional characters are completely coincidental.

Sensei Chin Chin was shown into the dojo room, which with he was all too familiar with. This is where he grew up. This is where he was trained. This is where he left, to pursue his dreams. And now, this is the only place left for him, and this is where he returned.

Ninjas gracefully swirled and jumped around him as he walked deeper into the practice room. He looked up, and the images of his childhood came back, and with a slight glimmer in his eye,  he recounted the memories. His eyes started to water, and he was almost transferred to another world, a world of his wonderful memories past. Then a ninja fell out of the air and landed on Sensei Chin Chin. The ninja muttered sorry and got up and walked away. It kind of ruined the moment.

Chin Chin got himself up, and walked to the back of the room. There, Señor Sensei sat in a chair, watching the practice. Chin Chin approached nervously, and knelt down in front of the old man. He seemed not to notice. Chin Chin finally managed a quiet "excuse me,  Señor Sensei?"

 Señor Sensei looked down at him.

"Yes?"

"I need to redeem myself. I don't feel welcome here. I left everything good I ever had, and what did it lead to? Mutiny, it's terrible," replied Chin Chin cautiously.

"What you say is the truth. You are welcome here, but I am a bit angry with you for leaving. But that was years ago, and we mustn't relive the past. But, if you must, I have a quest for you, one that if you accomplish, complete forgiveness will be yours," said  Señor Sensei .

"What, sir?" asked Chin Chin.

"You must retrieve… wait for it… wait for it… I'm building dramatic suspense… and……… you must retrieve," he leaned in closer, "the Elder Staff!"

"BUM BUM BUUUUUUM……………." said a ninja nearby.

"Now if you excuse me, I have to go clean the mainframe," said  Señor Sensei, after giving the ninja a glare.

"Wait, you have a mainframe?" asked Chin Chin.

"Yes of course. I know their outdated, but, whatever," he replied to the question, and walked away.

Now Chin Chin had a quest, to find the Elder Staff, whatever that is. So, he went to the computer lab and got on a computer. He went to Blackle, save energy, right? Anyways. He searched 'Elder Staff.' But a message popped up saying: 'Access Denied. The request contains blocked search word(s) and the page has been removed by the filter.'

Why was the search 'Elder Staff' blocked? Maybe  Señor Sensei didn't want anyone to know where it was. Chin Chin would have to hack around the content filter to get the information he needed. He had to hack his way in to make himself the system administrator. So he clicked on the 'contact system administrator' link at the bottom of the screen.

It took him to a page that had an email address to the system administrator, at nomercyinthedojo@ninjamail.com. He entered an email containing a virus and sent it to nomercyinthedojo. Then he waited. Eventually, the system administrator, who was  Señor Sensei, checked his email. The bugged email implanted a virus that let Chin Chin into the email account. He was inside  Señor Sensei's computer.

He went and disabled the filter on Señor Sensei's computer. Then, back on his own computer, he searched for 'Elder Staff', and this time the search wasn't blocked. He clicked on the first link. The first paragraph read: 'The Elder Staff is a staff thing that's really old and magical and whatnot, and it's located in the cheese factory over near that one highway. It's in the back, encased in a block of cheese.' That was all that Chin Chin needed. He went back on to Señor Sensei and put the filter back up, then shutdown both computers.

Chin Chin rode his bike over to the old cheese factory by the highway. He went inside, but they wouldn't let him in the back. So, he beat up all the people with ancient secret ninja skills. He walked into the back of the back, and saw the block of cheese. It was held on a podium, several hundred feet high. Chin Chin got out his grappling hooks and climbed up.

He got to the top, and stepped onto the space on top of the podium, which was about 5 feet long by 3 feet wide. The block of cheese was about 4 feet long by 1 foot wide, and resting in the middle of the podium. Chin Chin got to work. He ate and he ate, then ate some more. Finally, the Elder Staff showed through a thin layer of cheese. Chin Chin dug away until he reached the staff, then pulled it out.

The staff was made of bamboo, and was very light. It was about 32 inches long, and about an inch thick. It had a small hole in one end, and a series of holes along the top. The end had a large hole in it. It looked like an over-sized flute, and Chin Chin put it in a scabbard. Then he climbed back down from the podium. He started to bike back to Señor Sensei's dojo, to give him the Elder Staff.

To be continued...

Even Even More Ninjas!!!

Author's Note: This is the fourth part of the Ninjas!!! series. Thanks to Jackson for helping and making up Desert Eagle, and also Ross and Tony helped. There's also a picture at the bottom of this that goes kind of along with the story. Also, this still isn't a satire anymore, so any relations between real people, living or dead, to fictional characters are not intended and completely coincidental.

Glen finally came to. He lifted his head slowly and looked around, and the brightness made his head hurt. He closed his eyes again. Five minutes later, he opened them again. The brightness was overwhelming, but eventually, his eyes grew accustomed to it. He looked around. He was back in the sleeping quarters of the ninja complex. A sinking feeling grew in his chest.

He tried to jump up, but stopped. His legs and one arm each had a cast. He set his head back on the pillow, and tried to remember. Then, it started coming back. The escape, the helicopter, the crash, then… nothing. That's when he blacked out.

A ninja came into the room, with a plate of food with him.

"How long have I been out?" asked Glen.

"About two weeks, but we saw you wake up, so I brought you some food. Here you go," said the ninja.

Glen took the tray. He suddenly realized how hungry he was; he hadn't eaten in weeks. So, he dug in. But then a thought appeared in his mind.

"Hey, what about my friends? Where are they?" he asked as the ninja as he was opening the door.

"Oh, they're all dead," he said, and left. Glen suddenly didn't feel hungry.

Weeks dragged on, and Glen was depressed by his friends' demise. Eventually though, he recovered from his injuries. He regained his strength, but was still upset. So he decided to do something about it, and he got an idea. Stanley had once told him about mainframes. Once you hacked the mainframe, you could do almost anything. That gave him the idea he was looking for.

He hijacked another helicopter. Evidently, it's easy to hijack helicopters. He flew around the Canadian forest, and eventually found his friends. He took them back to the helicopter, and went back to the base. Now, he needed to hack the mainframe.

He found a map of the complex in one of the rooms. The computer room was in a room on the northeast side. He got in, and saw the mainframe. It was looming in the center of the room, like the boss of all the computers around it. Glen shut the door behind him, and turned back to face the room. He walked slowly toward the mainframe, and stopped in front of it.

"Let's get to work," he said to himself, and pulled out a laptop.

Meanwhile….

"This is mutiny!" yelled Sensei Chin Chin to the ninjas standing in front of him. "Why do you want to overthrow me?"

"Well, you're not very nice," tried one of the ninjas.

"And we want to be free ninjas, not slave ninjas," added another.

"Fine, then I'm out of here," he said, and turned to leave.

He walked out the door, and the ninjas watched him go. After he was out of sight in a helicopter, they all cheered. They turned on some music and did a conga line through the courtyard. They broke out the disco ball and partied all through the night. Eventually, the sun came up, and they realized they needed a new leader. They searched the Internet, and came to one named Desert Eagle. They called him up, and he decided to be their leader.

Meanwhile….

Sensei Chin Chin's helicopter landed outside of Beijing. It had been a long ride, and he was a bit cranky. He walked into a mysterious dojo on the outskirts of town. As he walked inside, two ninjas got up to greet him.

"Sensei Chin Chin has returned!" they yelled.

Smoke gathered in the room, and a shadowy figure appeared in the center of the cloud. The shadow started to grow bigger, and as the smoke cleared, he stepped into sight. It was the Señor Sensei.

The man walked up and stood face to face with Sensei Chin Chin.

"I see you have returned," he said.

"Yes, Señor Sensei. I have," Chin Chin replied.

"For what reason, may I ask?"

"Mutiny," he replied weakly.

"Ahh, of course," he said in a chuckle. "Well, nevertheless, you are welcomed back." Then he turned around and left.

Sensei Chin Chin breathed a sigh of relief. Señor Sensei was his old master.

Meanwhile….

Glen put his laptop down by the mainframe, and took out a cord. He plugged it in to a USB on the mainframe. After a complex pattern of html and whatnot, he managed to free up the mainframe. Now, he needed to hack into it so he could bring his friends' ghosts back to life. He started to work on hacking it to do what he wished.

Meanwhile….

Desert Eagle showed up to the dojo about an hour later. The ninjas greeted him and showed him around the complex. Eventually, they got to the computer room. They opened the door, and saw that Glen kid sitting on the ground, with his laptop plugged into the mainframe.

"Quick, he's hacking the mainframe!" yelled Desert Eagle. He pulled out a desert eagle pistol and shot the boy.

"Why'd you do that? We could have just told him to stop!" yelled a ninja at Desert Eagle.

"I didn't want to take any chances. This is how I roll, you better get used to it."

The ninjas all gulped. Had they made a mistake?

Meanwhile…

The ghosts of the boy stared at the now dead body of Glen. Then they started to laugh.

"Serves him right! He was the only one that lived!" Cameron said through laughter.

"Yeah, that little selfish kid," said Dre, tears of laughter streaming down his face.

Then the ghost of Glen started to rise up. But it didn't get very far, because it was sucked up into the laptop.

"Wow, he's so dumb! That's a Ghostbuster laptop! No wonder he got sucked up!" said Eugene, laughing.

Glen's ghost was transferred through the USB cord, and into the mainframe.

"Now he's stuck in the mainframe!" said Erik through laughter.

To be continued….

Even More Ninjas!!!


Author's Note: This is the sequel to the story below, More Ninjas!!! Again, this isn't satire, even though the first one was. Also, I should note that everyone that dies in the story volunteered to die (it's hard to explain) and they also okay-ed their method of death. Just to let you know. Edited by: Eugene, Cameron, and Dre (Tony, Ross, and Jackson). Thanks guys.

"Dude, that's crazy! We don't stand a chance!" said Cameron.

"Yeah, you're right, but we have to try!" said Glen.

So, they tried. But, to put it nicely, it didn't go well. The battle lasted a time of four and a half seconds, so it wasn't very pretty. I am going to spare you those four and a half seconds, and just say they ended up back in the school.

After that, Hardcore Artistic Language was more brutal than ever. Shorter lunch breaks and more out of class work. They decided it had to stop, again. But this time they had a better plan. Towards the end of the spring season, a new shipment of slaves to Hardcore Artistic Language was shipped in. As Glen and his friends stood greeting them, they made a break for it.

They ran out the door. "Get to the chopper!" yelled Glen.

And to the chopper, they got. They hopped in, and Stanley hotwired the helicopter. It was surprisingly easy. After touching the right wires together, the engine kicked up. The blades beat around, and they started to lift off the ground. But, it wasn't that easy. The ninjas had surrounded the helicopter as it got to around twenty feet.

The ninjas threw flaming ninja stars at the helicopter as it slowly rose. At around forty feet, a star found purchase in the fuel tank, and the tank exploded. Trailing smoke and flames, the helicopter continued to rise as the last of the fuel burned up. Erik grabbed the controls, and tilted it forward to gain speed

The blades slowed to a stop. But the speed of the helicopter propelled it at a forward towards the earth. The falling helicopter was a sight to see. It flew at an alarming speed towards the ground, flaming from the back. Smoke swirled up from the wasted engine.

"We're going to crash!" said Mark.

"Everyone, to the back of the helicopter," said Dre, as he popped open the door on the side of the chopper. "Gather around this door," they surrounded the door towards the back, and prepared for impact. "When I say jump, jump," said Dre.

Seconds passed, but to them, it felt like hours. The ground grew in front of them. Eventually, when they could make out every piece of grass and every stone, Dre said the signal. They all jumped simultaneously. They hit the ground, and rolled. The helicopter flew about ten more feet, and then met the ground.

A fireball spread out from the engine and engulfed the rest of the helicopter. An explosive crunch echoed out, and smoke and fire spread to the sky. The smoke drifted up, and the burning carcass of the helicopter was revealed through the flames.

No one was hurt. Call it a miracle, call it luck, but nobody was hurt. They stood up, and gazed at the burning helicopter. Only a mile from the school, they would have to run. Nothing to eat or drink, it would be a challenge. But they knew one thing: they weren't going back to the school alive.

"Well, that was a little too close for comfort," said Eugene.

"I'll say," said Cameron.

"Hey, where's Glen?" Erik.

"Oh my gosh! Where is he?" said Stanley.

They all hurried around frantically. They saw him lying on the ground a few yards away. They hurried over, and expected the worst. Looking him over, they discovered he had suffered from both broken legs, a dislocated shoulder, and a broken arm. The jump out of the helicopter had not been a good one for him, as he landed wrong and tumbled to his injuries.

"Go on without me…" he muttered.

"Aw, come on! Why does Glen get all the cool lines? Get to the chopper, go on without me? That's not fair," complained Mark.

"We're not leaving you," said Stanley.

"But I'll drag you down. The ninjas are coming, and you need to get to the US. Once there, you can get home and be safe. Don't worry about me. I'll be…" he couldn't finish the sentence the way he wanted to.

Glen slowly closed his eyes. The pain was to much to handle, and he passed out. They had no choice, they left him. Hopefully the ninjas would save him, although then he would be a slave, but at least alive. So, they tore away from the crippled boy, and started on.

If was about twenty miles to the border. They had no food or water, but they were determined to make it. They got to a hill after about twenty minutes. They climbed to the top of the hill, and came to the top overlooking the stretch of land they would have to cover. It was covered in thick forest.

They slid down the steep and rocky side of the hill. Looking into the forest, it was dark and gloomy. It was seven o'clock at night, it would be dark soon. And dangerous.

"Dang…" said Dre, a worried expression that matched the others on his face.

"Well, vamonos!" said Erik as he stepped into the forest.

They trekked over mossy ground, under the canopy of thick foliage. They came to a stream, and stopped to get a drink. They had been walking for an hour and a half, and it was now dark. They decided to sleep next to the stream. It's not very easy going to sleep imagining all the animals around you that could kill you, but eventually, they all found sleep.

They woke to the sound of Mark's screams. They rushed over, and a snake was clamped on his leg. Dre pulled it off and stomped on it, and it died instantly. But the damage had been done. Two small holes showed on Mark's leg.

The snake had been poisonous. He stood there, a bewildered look on his face. Then, he clutched his leg and screamed. He crumpled over, and lay on the ground screaming. He turned over, and gripped the ground, and yelled.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" he screamed.

He turned back over, and arched his back, still screaming sickeningly. Then the he laid still. His eyes glazed over as the last scream trailed off into the night. Mark was dead.

The rest stood in silence, unsure of what to do. They decided to leave him, there was nothing else to do. They couldn't bring ourselves to sleep there, so instead they kept walking. They walked. And they walked. As the night turned grey with the morning, the children saw a black bear at the base of a tree. They stopped dead, and he turned to look at them.

He ran towards them, and they screamed. Everyone dove for cover, but Cameron was too late. The black bear lunged on him, hungry. Again, I will spare you the details, because it is was pretty disgusting. They waited until the black bear was done, and Cameron was no more. 

Two of them had died already, one was left behind, hopefully no more would. They walked about another mile, when they came to a cliff. They had to climb down. They started down, and halfway, Eugene slipped and fell. It was only about twenty feet, but it did some serious damage. When the rest of them got down, we rushed over to where Eugene fell. But they were too late. Eugene laid at the bottom of a pit of corn. What a corny way to die. Just Dre, Erik, and Stanley remained.

They pushed on, ravaged by the deaths of their friends. Just as hunger was starting to kick in, a blimp fell out of the sky. It crushed Erik, and now he was dead too. Poor Erik, crushed by a blimp. What a way to die. The remaining kids were deeply saddened. But five ninjas climbed out of the wreckage. Dre got out his knives, and Stanley ran around panicking. Dre stepped toward the ninjas, knives in hand.

He kicked one in the chest, and plunged in the dagger to seal the deal. He whirled to his right, and hit the next one between the eyes. Pulled it out, and threw it, hitting another ninja in the chest. Someone bumped into him, so he turned around and plunged the knife between his eyes on instinct. But it was Stanley. An innocent, yet terrible, mistake. But Dre fought on. He pulled the knife he had thrown out, and stabbed another ninja in the neck, then jumped at the last ninja. He stuck each dagger in either side of his neck. Dre had won the fight, but was the last one left.

Then something hit Dre in the back. Dre fell, and hit the ground. He reached behind him, and pulled out what hit him. It was a ninja star, and he flung it to the side. He rolled onto his injured back, and saw the culprit. It was Sensei Chin Chin. The man walked up to Dre, and leaned over the dying boy.

"Nice try Dre, but you can't beat the best," he said, then finished the job with a katana.

THE END. 

 

The Clown

 

Author's note: This is an irony I wrote and it's kind of weird and creepy, but then again it's supposed to be, I guess. 

 I had been out of town on a business trip. Things could have gone better, to say the least. I was exhausted from flying the first night, and tried to take a shower, but the cheap hotel I was at had no hot water. I overslept, and was late for the meeting. I proceeded to make a fool of myself in front of some very important people. That night, the people in the next room over had a blowout party, so I didn't get an once of sleep. My flight was delayed, and I didn't get in until midnight.

I had taken a bus to the airport to avoid paying for over-priced parking. So, I had to take the bus home again. There isn't many things creepier than being on an empty bus at midnight. The streets outside are eerie and deserted, and the bus is deathly silent. To top it all off, there was puke in the corner, stinking up the whole bus. I gagged the whole way.

The nearest stop to my house was about three blocks away. The bus screeched to a halt, and I stood up, relieved to leave. I turned around as I stepped off to thank the bus driver, who just grunted. I turned around and stepped off the bus. I saw a man, head down, sitting in the bus stop. As I got off, he looked up. He was a clown. He wore once colorful clothes, now tattered and stained. His face paint was faded and grimy, and greasy purple hair grew wild, and his eyes were bloodshot.

Then he smiled. His teeth were yellow and rotten. He started to chuckle. A little bit at first, then louder. Eventually, it grew into a laugh. No, not a laugh, a cackle. His shoulders heaved up and down and he stared into my eyes. Bewildered, I turned and walked away. I heard the laughing growing faint.

A block later, I looked over my shoulder. I saw the clown, his murderous grin on his face. My spine tingled, and I quickened my pace. After another block, I looked back, and saw nothing. I relaxed a bit. I walked the rest of the way home, in and out of the glowing circles of streetlights. Eventually, I got to the darkened lawn of my house, and turned up the sidewalk. I unlocked the door, and went in. I flicked on the lights. Man, I was tired. The vision of the clown flashed in my mind, so I turned around and dead bolted the door and turned on the security system. Just in case.

I went upstairs and hit the sack. I turned off the lights, and tried to sleep. But the visions of the clown and his eerie laugh haunted my mind. But eventually, I found rest. I slept deeply. But I woke to the sound of laughing. Cackling. I was afraid to open my eyes, but when I did, it was what I feared. I was staring right into those bloodshot eyes of the clown, his grin full of those rotten teeth. I screamed, and he laughed again. I hopped up, and punched him square in the jaw. His head jerked to the side, and he fell silent. Slowly, he turned back to face me. Then he smiled again, and started his cackling.

I ran over towards my desk, and picked up a picture. I chucked it at him but he ducked, and the picture shattered on the wall behind him. I reached for the door, but his hand clamped around my wrist.

"Where you going?" he asked in a hoarse voice, no more than a whisper.

I screamed as he pulled a knife out of his striped coat's pocket. The moonlight flooded in through the window, and it glinted off the knife blade. I caught a glimpse of the dried blood as he raised it up to my throat. One last smile, pure hatred in his eyes. His breath was warm on my face. He cackled for one last time, and the next scream never left my mouth.

More Ninjas!!!

Author's Note: This is the sequel to the post below, Ninjas!!! This one isn't a satire anymore, so don't go thinking that.

 So the kids were forced to learn Hardcore Artistic Language. It was painful and treacherous. Eventually the kids had had enough.  It was time to make a stand! The children gathered themselves during lunch break, and made a plan. They would try to sneak out in the dead of night, under the watchful eyes of the guards.

That night, they all silently crept out of their bunks at midnight. They gathered in a half circle around the door leading out of the room, which was locked from the outside. Taking a screwdriver, Mark started unscrewing the hinges of the door. It was a difficult task, and after almost a half hour, the door fell. They laid it on the floor in the room, and started down the hall, which had doors to each of the ninja's rooms lining the sides.

Silently they walked, until they reached the end of the hall. This door lead out into the courtyard, and needed to be scanned by an authorized person's hand. So, they found an unlocked room of one of the ninja's. They used the lamp and put him out cold. They carried him to the door and scanned his hand. The door clicked open. They filed out the door and into the courtyard.

They needed to scale the wall onto the roof on the opposite side of the courtyard. The wall was about six feet up to the roof. Guards patrolled the courtyard, but two of the three were fast asleep in the night. They snuck through the bushes to where the awake guard was walking. Dre jumped out and punched him in the face and he fell. He kicked him the back of the head to knock him out.

Since Dre was the tallest, he hoisted people up to the edge of the roof. There, they pulled themselves on. After everyone was up, Eugene and Glen helped up Dre. They climbed up the slight incline of the roof, and down the other side. There were four guard towers, one on each corner of the complex. They managed to get down the wall without being seen, but they would have to make a run for it.

So they ran. The guards spotted them, and a sharp alarm sounded. The kids ran as fast as they could, but ninjas poured out every door and chased them. Eventually, it was too much, and they had to stop. They turned around and saw the hundred of ninjas.

"Should just give up?" Asked Stanley.

"No," said Glen. "We've come too far. We need to try to fight the ninjas."

To be continued (again)…

 

Ninjas!!!

Author's note: This is a satire I wrote about language arts. I actually like language arts but I wanted to write a satire about it. Warning: You might not get it if you're not in Mr. J's class.

Glen was just sitting in his room minding his own business with his friends Dre, Eugene, Mark, Stanley, Erik, and Cameron. Then, a horrifying crash came from his window. He leapt up and started to run down the stairs, but screeched to a halt halfway. He heard screams coming from his room. He went back up, and saw his friends tied up. The ninjas chucked them out the window and into a helicopter and started to take off. Glen ran outside and jumped in the helicopter too. They took off, but they had no idea Glen was there with them.

They went to a base in Canada, and got out Glen's friends out of the trunk. They took them out and carried them into a room. Inside, was the infamous Sensei Chin Chin. They put them down in front of Sensei Chin Chin, and he said, "Thank you." He turned to face the captives, and walked up slowly towards them.

"Do you know why you are all here?" he asked the crowd of prisoners.

 "Nope," said Dre.

"Well, I should probably tell you then. You have been handpicked to be my slaves," said Sensei Chin Chin.

"Wait, but we were all in the same room when you kidnapped us," pointed out Mark.

"Well, sometimes we lower our standards to meet the biggest convenience," explained Chin Chin. "Anyways, before I was rudely interrupted, you are my slaves and you have to do what I say or else," and he walked away.

"Darn, that stinks," commented Eugene.

Then, Glen jumped out from behind the pillar he was hiding behind. He cut them free. "We need to stop Sensei Chin Chin!" He yelled, and led them in a charge out the door. They ran out the door, and what they saw stopped them in their tracks. Sensei Chin Chin was facing them, with an army of ninjas standing behind him.

"Guys, it's no use. There's thousands of them and only a couple of us," said Stanley.

"Yeah, Stan's right," agreed Cameron. They all turned around and walked back into the room and Sensei Chin Chin followed. The door closed behind them.

"Well, I will forget this little incident, but you must cooperate, or their will be consequences. Understand?" said Sensei Chin Chin gravely.

"Yes, but one question," said Dre. "What are we slaves for?"

"Ahh, excellent question. I am forcing you to learn Hardcore Artistic Language."

To be continued…

 


The Origins of ManBat and ManMan

Author's Note: This is another free writing piece. My last one was really unorganized, so I tried to make this one more organized. Me and Jackson again came up with this and decided to write about ManBat and ManMan. Also, ManBat evidently already exists, so this is a different ManBat, just to clear things up.

This is the great legend of ManBat and ManMan. ManBat was a bat that looked and acted like a man, but had all the abilities of a bat. ManMan was just a normal man, but twice as good because of the two man's in ManMan. Anyways…

They met in a cave over nine years ago, when ManMan was just Bill, and ManBat was just a bat that was man-like. Bill stumbled upon the bat's condo, and rang the doorbell. The bat answered, and invited him inside. They were flipping through channels when a show caught their eye. It was about two superheroes. So, they got an idea.

"We should do that," suggested the bat.

"Yeah! You can be… hmm… let's see…. ManBat!" said Bill

"Yeah! But we have a problem. You're just a normal man with no powers," said the bat in reply.

"Maybe if I have a really cool name no one will notice," said Bill.

"Good idea! Now what should you're name be?" said ManBat.

"I don't now," admitted Bill.

"Well, look at this show. All the super heroes end in "man". So, since you're a man, how about ManMan?"

"YES!!!!" Cried Bill happily, and jumped up with excitement. "Let's get started!"

"We'll need costumes," said ManBat. "I've got some capes and things in my closet."

"Alright!" said ManMan. 

So the new superhero duo set off to save the world. From what, they didn't yet know. But that didn't matter, what mattered is they were two newly found friends about to do something big. But even they didn't know how big that 'something big' was going be…

Go to Jackson's blog to read more about ManBat!

   
Weird Journal

Author's Note: This is a really weird journal I wrote. Me and my friend Jackson came up the idea to write about caves. Just don't ask.

I stood in the middle of the cave, happily taking in the unique scenes of it. I was just minding my own business, when a stalactite fell from the ceiling and impaled me. Now I am stuck on the ground because of the stupid stalactite, and I'm really bored. Then, a ravenous pack of bat-people popped up and started dancing around me. They looked kind of like people wearing cheap bat costumes from Walmart, but no, they were all too realistic. The evident leader got out a jar of peanut butter. Then he poked me with a stick. I got mad and jumped up and threw the stick at him and hit his peanut butter jar. It clattered to the side. He walked out at me, and stopped dramatically. "This town ain't big enuff fer da both of us." He drew out a revolver and shot me. Not really, it was just a toy, so instead it just clicked. I pretended to die so he wouldn't feel bad. They carried me off and tied me to chair. He got out a big lamp and shined it on me. "What were ya'll doin' on the night of yesterday?" But since I was pretending to be dead, I just kind of sat there. So he left me there and left. I had to bite off my own arms to escape the chair. Good thing they also had a first aid kit so I put them back on. Then I ran out and they were playing chess. I ripped off their costumes, except they weren't costumes so I just ripped off their flesh. They got really mad and exiled me to Siberia.